Sometimes, It's Not You.

       I'm sixteen years old, what could I possibly know about love? The extent of my knowledge of other people's pursuits of love can only go as far as the movies and shows I watch, and the books and magazines I read. I am a young girl with little concern for a love of my own, and all the complexities that follow it; I'll leave that for another day. That being said, I AM a girl! I may not know much of love (nor want it at this point in my life), but certainly I am fascinated by the love of others, or in this case, the lack thereof. After reading Sarah Eckle's article "Sometimes, it's not you", I couldn't help but wonder if that was what life and love had in store for me. Was my life destined to be one parallel to that of a pathetic bacholorette in a 'chick flick'? Would I be lonely and single, and assume that my ill encounters with love were of my own fault? Hell to the No! No way would I ever need fulfillment from a man or a relationship. If no man wants me, then fine! I'll be perfectly content to be on my own. It's tragic how many women(after "he doesn't call") assume that there is something wrong with them. The fault is not with the woman herself (well, in most cases), they just haven't met the Mr. Right! Love by very definition is complex and imperfect, but it's also about transcending all of these things. When you find a man that's truly worth loving, he will know you (and love you) for who YOU are! He'll see the good and the bad and want more and more. He'll see you. He'll see all these things and want you for perfection and imperfection, for better or for worse, and all that jazz. This article made me want to scream at today's women and say "LADY GET A GRIP! Stop whining about how love will never find you, and stop trying to fix yourself. Stop being the pathetic cliche single woman that everyone is already expecting you to be!" Love is worth the wait. Today's women don't need to fix themselves, they need to discover patience.

      
        Eckel tells the reader of her long struggle with love, and how its failures can lead to a crushing loneliness. "It wasn’t full-blown self-loathing, more a hollowness that hit me in the chest at certain times." The reader can relate to Eckel's loneliness, and her embarrassment for longing love. Eckel proposes that many women, when faced with the failure of yet another relationship, automatically think that they themselves are the problem. "Like single women everywhere, I had bought into the idea that the problem must be me, that there was some essential flaw — arrogance, low self-esteem, fear of commitment — that needed to be fixed. I needed to be fixed." She then goes to say that women can try to fix themselves, going to great lengths to make them more appealing to the opposite gender, but the solution cannot come from any self help book, relationship guru, makeover, or expensive therapist. The solution is just simply patience. Love will come along, and suddenly all of your past misfortunes will make sense. "What’s wrong with me? Plenty. But that was never the point." Stop trying to fix yourself, and wait for the one who sees your highs and lows, your faults, your negative qualities, and loves you anyway. Love is worth waiting for, so stop having a pity party and be patient for once!

To read the Article>>Sometimes, It's Not You.